Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but there’s no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.
Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilbo’s next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? I’m not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.
Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like ‘Mr Baggins… blease… it’s been 10 years… he was eleventy-one… can we fill out his death certificate yet’ and Frodo was like ‘absolutely not’.
Early on he genuinely couldn’t bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrate’s office than anything else.
I raise you: the hobbitish bureaucracy has no means to re-declare someone dead. They had no precedent to declare someone who was once-dead dead again. They would need the Thain, the Mayor, and the Master of Buckland to agree to changing the statute, and since the Thain and the Master are too amused by the whole henclucking that they haven’t gotten round to it just yet.
I’m upping the stakes with: last time Bilbo was declared dead when he was, in fact, not dead, they removed the law stating that you can have someone declared dead without a body, so when Bilbo left (happily aware of this legal loophole and snickering) he could never become legally dead again.
I am loving the implication here that Bilbo can literally never die in the eyes of the law. He’d love that.
a hobbit parent telling their kids the story of Mad Baggins and being like “thanks to a loophole in hobbit law he’s technically still alive today”
a hobbit child misinterprets this and lies awake at night worrying that Mad Baggins is still out there and will appear in their room without warning
Alternatively: the laws for declaring somebody dead if they’re missing for long enough are still in place, but the magistrates are just refusing to enforce them in this particular case.
After all, last time they declared Bilbo Baggins dead— which involved filling out all the paperwork necessary to declare somebody dead without a body— he had the rudeness to show up again, forcing them to do a lot more paperwork, and this time with an indignant Bilbo having a go at them while they did it.
As a result, the magistrates have decided that they’re not going to declare Bilbo Baggins dead a second time unless they have a body, a coroners reprt explaining the cause of death, and a three day wake to make sure that he doesn’t get up and walk away again.
Centuries later, hobbit parents tell their children that Mad Baggins is forever gone from the shire— at least until the day when somebody is stupid enough to declare him legally dead, at which point legend states that he will immediately come marching back, demanding an explanation.
Sirius Black to goobers: the one day i actually come and school burns down
Remus Lupin: what classes were you in
James Potter: i was in english you Were Not
Peter Pettigrew: or history
Remus Lupin: it doesnt count as attending school if u just lie behind the science block till lunch
Sirius Black: youre all ruining this fire for me
James Potter to Lily Evans: give back my chocolate shake
Lily Evans: i dont have it
James Potter: i can see u fuckin drinkin it we’re in the same maccas
Lily Evans: everyones saying you did it
James Potter: pardon
Lily Evans: set the fire
James Potter: come off it
James Potter: whose saying that
Lily Evans: everyone
James Potter: ah yes my great mate ‘everyone’
Lily Evans: mary, elliot from science, louise marcot, guy from math whose name i dont know but went to ball with ruby garland, sam roberts, and sushi danny have all told me it was you
James Potter: wow that does seem like everyone
James Potter: now im wondering whether I did do it
Sirius Black to James Potter: had a dream i died in a freak pharmaceutical accident last night
James Potter: what is a freak pharmaceutical accident
Sirius Black: i was drunk in a pharmacy and put all their throat lozenges up my nose
This is a “plein air” painting which means I set up my easel right across the street of this Chase bank in my city and painted it like it had caught fire. The police questioned me on the spot. Three weeks later Homeland Security was knocking on the door to my home. The question they kept asking me was “Do you hate these banks?” I can honestly say yes.
And I just think this is the greatest artist statement I’ve ever read.
Your average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces of pineapple chunks. Cans of pineapple come in a variety of sizes the most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning a single pineapple generally won’t fill up a single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple from a can somewhere someone else has the can that has the rest of that same pineapple. Meaning u can share a single fruit with a stranger from hundreds of miles away and I think that’s beutiful
americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip
i went to england to visit the family of this boy im dating in birmingham. one of his sisters lived in manchester and his whole family kept being like we wish lila was her you would love her blah blah blah lila would just lobe you blah and I was finally like well why couldn’t she make it? everyone was like lol as we said she’s in manchester??? that’s it. i looked up the distance and it’s like less than two hours away and when me and my dude went to grab a beer later that night I was like so does Lila not get along with your parents like what’s up? again, he’s like babe I told you she’s in manchester. I was like are the villages at war????? he goes “it’s too far. this isn’t holiday.” I was like babe we’ve drivin 4-5 hours for weekend trips to the beach Im just confused- and he cuts me off and goes “that’s American me. We don’t do that here”
y’all…“storm area 51, they can’t stop all of us” was only 8 months ago. that’s no time at all. i really thought it was like 2 years ago. like if a child was conceived on the day they “stormed area 51,” it probably wouldn’t even be born yet. these past five years have been the longest century of my life.
i can’t be the only one who thinks george weasley should’ve ended up marrying a muggle. i love angelina but i feel like what jk rowling did by putting them two together was just lazy and because jk makes it seem like fred and angelina were a ‘thing’ before, i find it a bit weird actually.
i just think that after the war and fred’s death, george would have taken a break from the wizarding world and instead spent a few years living in the muggle world where he came across a muggle who worked at a nearby shop (like a florist or cafe owner) and for george it was a whole new experience.
because for once, the person only saw him. they didn’t see fred, they weren’t reminded of fred whenever they saw george and it gave george the chance to grow as a person and cope with having to live without his soulmate.
and i feel like when he was ready, he would introduce them to his family and the wizarding world and the weasleys would absolutely adore them because they helped george through the toughest time of his life.
also… arthur would’ve loved them and bombarded them w so many questions ab muggle technology.
but idk??? i just reckon angelina and george’s relationship sounds forced and destined to end in a divorce ://
(im sorry it’s nearly 3am and i needed to say this because it’s been on my mind for months)
americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip
i went to england to visit the family of this boy im dating in birmingham. one of his sisters lived in manchester and his whole family kept being like we wish lila was her you would love her blah blah blah lila would just lobe you blah and I was finally like well why couldn’t she make it? everyone was like lol as we said she’s in manchester??? that’s it. i looked up the distance and it’s like less than two hours away and when me and my dude went to grab a beer later that night I was like so does Lila not get along with your parents like what’s up? again, he’s like babe I told you she’s in manchester. I was like are the villages at war????? he goes “it’s too far. this isn’t holiday.” I was like babe we’ve drivin 4-5 hours for weekend trips to the beach Im just confused- and he cuts me off and goes “that’s American me. We don’t do that here”
Your average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces of pineapple chunks. Cans of pineapple come in a variety of sizes the most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning a single pineapple generally won’t fill up a single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple from a can somewhere someone else has the can that has the rest of that same pineapple. Meaning u can share a single fruit with a stranger from hundreds of miles away and I think that’s beutiful
